I think I just need to get some stuff off my chest with this post, tonight. Some self-concerns, whinging. the usual shit. Alright, so let's get a time frame going. i'd say for around a week or so now, i've been feeling very distant. From everyone. But mostly my friends/the people around me. It's difficult to do describe how i'm feeling without naming names, but here goes. I've been feeling distant or on the outer with my friends - in other words. I feel like i'm being ignored. I feel a bit unwanted. I've never noticed or felt like this before, and it's seriously strange, but. I don't know. It's made me think about me, about my changes, etcetera. I know it's only been a week of feeling that this. That might seem like nothing to you. But it's big if you knew the reactions i obtain off people whenever I open my mouth.
I've come to a few conclusions. But all sound quite rediculous to be honest. But I have to tell someone, even if it's an obscurely read blog that most probably no one pays attention to. But. I feel like i'm boring now. It sounds stupid but in reality. I've cut at least 80% of average teenage fun out of my life. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I don't have hair anymore. I don't have a job. I don't play a sport outside of school and I don't have a girlfriend. I only really enjoy some friends, family, pokemon, driving and cats. Which all in all sounds pretty creepy. But it just made me think - in retrospect. I don't really have much to talk about with people. So yeah. Self questioning. But i've also been thinking that people are ignoring me because I cut off my hair. I'm annoying. Or the people i've been hanging around are rubbing off on me. Or even maybe i'm expecting too much from people. All in all. I just feel like no one really cares about me. Which has happend before. But it hasn't gotten to me like this time has.
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