where's my head

i don't feel like myself anymore, i never do. i can't swoon people anymore, my tolerance levels are at an all time low and i just can't see positives anymore, i'm becoming snide and cynical- traits i hate. i think i have some sort of brain damage, because how i feel is completely abnormal. i have these little snaps where i become completely loose and fun, and other times where i'm just calculating, judgemental and boring. i really want to understand what's happening to me. i don't know how to approach things or people anymore, and i become more socially arkward every day. i know people don't appreciate who i am anymore, and when they don't, i can see it in their eyes. it hurts me. i've also completely lost my love for school, i keep truanting and it's not something i usually do, i'm getting behind in classwork, and homework, and it's making me angry. i don't even know if i'm excited for my future anymore. i feel lost. this sounds like such a whiney, pointless, emo blur of words, but i'm so frustrated with myself.